I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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