Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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