You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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