the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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