just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
