she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
