its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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