very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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