i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
