fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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