I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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