Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
