That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
