Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
