Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
