i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
