I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
