I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
