I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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