He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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