The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize