oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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