You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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