So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
