how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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