She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
