Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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