I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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