When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I look better un-naked...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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