dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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