is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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