my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
