i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
