You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
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I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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