Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
