Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Congratulations! We have a period
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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