Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
