first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
