is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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