My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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