id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
