I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
