You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
