I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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