One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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