dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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