I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
