is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
