u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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