i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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