just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
