I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
