It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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