Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
