whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
