help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
