I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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