i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
