Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
