Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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