Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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