the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it glows. i had to have it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
