She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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