Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
