is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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