hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
