one might say we're banned from that church
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Randomize